The Silent Killer is…

Silence.

I realize recently that I have a super passive aggressive nature, especially when it comes to dealing with confrontation. I’m like Issa Rae’s character on The Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl. No, I don’t make up ignorant rap songs to express myself, but in my mind—I go off and I go hard. Does that ever happen to you when you have sooooo much to say, but when it’s time to deal with it you just shut down? Can barely get words out? Have issues articulating exactly how you feel with clarity and conciseness? You are not alone! So together, let’s deal with it.

I go from 0 to 100 real quick. I don’t like either the zero or the hundred. Neither are gratifying. I often find myself between the spaces of not wanting to deal with the foolishness and not want to hurt someone’s feelings. It’s a sucky position to be in. Imagine this illustration, you have a ticking time bomb in your hand hidden behind your back. When that thing explodes, which it will eventually will….you will hurt yourself big time and often innocent bystanders who are in close proximity to you. It’s dangerous.

Perspective
Confrontation does not have to be negative even in the stance of opposition.

Motive
Once we identify our intentions for having the conversation we can stick to the subject at hand, be firm in our position, and quickly find a common ground (even when we don’t agree).

Position
We must all stand for something. Having a position in a situation enables you to have dignity, save face, and claim your self-respect. People will treat you how you treat yourself. When you come to terms with who you are— your likes and dislikes others will have to respect you even when they don’t want to.

Great leaders have to deal with the matter at hand in order to move things forward. Healthy confrontation is effective. It allows you to be stretched and to stretch the soft adversary.

Let’s stop holding things inside. Level the stress. Express yourself. Streeeetch.

Until next time…

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