One of the worse feelings in the world is to feel like you are not accepted. Rejection is a catalyst for low self-esteem. Have you ever been in a crowded room and it seemed like all eyes were on you for all the wrong reasons? You fidget with your hair and avoid any direct eye contact? Or have you walked past a group of people while you’re by yourself? Suddenly the ground moves from underneath your feet and you forget how to walk? Below are 3 simple ways to own every room you walk into.


The best way to change your life is to change your mind! You have to believe that you belong. You have to believe that the atmosphere and the environment that you’re in wouldn’t be the same with your presence, without your smile, without your voice, without your personality. Facts. Build your Godfidence. Make it a point to recommit to yourself everyday. Yes, look into the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Remind yourself that every curve and quirk is necessary. When your home, dress up just because. Take care of yourself. Pamper yourself. Remember this? #TreatYo’Self. Don’t ever end the day without sharing your light to the world. Some fake it until they believe. Whatever works, just don’t take on someone else’s personality and style. Be you. Live in your truth. Be bold. The only shortcut to build your Godfidence is to just go for it each and every single time until it becomes natural. Put fear to the side, which is my next point.

Embrace the Fear

Uncle Fear is often criticized for creeping in and holding us back. Truthfully, fear has and will always be a contributing factor to preserving our lives. Without fear, we probably would be dead from negligence. The reason why some of us haven’t ran face first into a moving train is because we have a level of fear. Instead of trying to “conquer fear”, acknowledge it’s presence and set it to the side. I call it the Mental Override. It’s knowing when to assign fear to push or protect you. You feel your heart pounding like it’s trying to break free from your chest. Your breathing becomes sporadic. Calm down! It really is that simple.  Speak directly to your fears. “Listen, I know I’m scared of these possibilities, but I’m going to do it anyway. So fear, have several seats”. Give your fear a name like—Fearina or Fearnando. Something like that. Just know when to make it take a backseat while you’re on the driver side.

Have an Objective

Whenever you find yourself having to go to uncomfortable places to be around uncomfortable people, have a clear stated objective in mind. Whether you are sitting in the boardroom, a networking event, or you’re a third wheel—have your “Why” in mind. Why are you there? Why is it necessary to make that connection and build those relationships? Having an agenda helps sidestep the emotions and handicaps a level of mental paralyzation.Make a decision to accomplish one goal that does not entail going incognito. It’s all about the stretch. My Mantra: When you stretch, you reach your best. Go for it!

You belong. You were invited because you were needed. Make the most of every opportunity. Press that override button when necessary. If it’s scary or makes your heart skip a beat, it is worth looking into. The world is yours. Every door you enter into will always lead you to the right turn, the right person, and your right moment. Walk in that truth. Hold your head high, shoulders back, and let the skip of your heartbeat be the rhythm of your feet.

With Love, Light & Laughter

Kisha Payen